يوليو 27, 2011 Red traffic light..
In a lost moment..
Where the lights reflect on the car’s glass..
Dew drops flirt with the cold glass’ surface and the city’s intense humidity..
Your highness’s car stops by my side
And I stare into your eyes..
They sparkle with the reflection of the fast cars light..
Ooh God.. how could all these souls and cars pass by quickly.. and no one notices.. this magnificent, magical ocean..
Her eyes gazed.. and mine were begging
My heart ached and my lips glow with prayers
Ever so slightly, a smile escapes from her majesty..
The ice melts.. and she excites me with just a look..
A laugh..
And a green light.. takes the moment from me.. and keeps loneliness by my side
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Bandar Arab
said
Rao3aaaaaaaaaah
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Alyah Yar
said
The Arabic version is better, cuz you have a wide range of vocabularies and you used the vocab, which expresses your feelings the best, in the right places. Although I felt lost while reading it, but I totally lived the moment because of your amazing way of describing, which I like by the way :).
I liked the English one too, cuz it also has that good description of the moment, but I feel it’s a little bit weak and it can be improved. By ignoring the spelling and grammatical mistakes, I think it could be much better if you wrote it as you feel it, instead of “Literally” translating the Arabic version. cuz some of the vocabulary which you used can be replaced with much better ones.
eg: “Your highness car stop by my side..” instead of “highness” you could say (Your “glorious” car stop by my side..).
I hope this #Falsfa helps 😉 keep up the good work and good luck!
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kyeslam
said
Thanks so much u r “gorges” 🙂